MAG

i got up insanely late today (2pm) as i have been most of the week, but that will be over very soon. this weekend i am headed down to the beach, so that’s something. not to swim, mostly to gamble away my small savings which can be just as exciting. god no, i won’t wear a bathing suit until half of my ass doesn’t hang out of them. this summer looks promising. if i keep at it, i could be down to my target weight before then and take a small trip to dominican republic, where i’m originally from.

i had to take some time away from my strict diet because i received some unexpected news and had to go under the knife. no one wants to be cooking anything post op, so i stuck to a lot of microwavable meals. i’ll be ready to do some hardcore exercising in another week, for now all i can do is walk on the treadmill. i did 40 minutes today. this is the first time i have ever gone that long. it was at a steady setting, which is also something i’ve never done. that might have contributed to my unexplained longevity.

i am waiting on news from a possible job, fingers crossed hopefully it works out. i have been technically unemployed now for over a year. since then i’ve been working freelance, looking for something more permanent. that will help steady with my sleeping/eating immensely.

i have to go jump rope a little now. hopefully i won’t fall on my face. i wanted to purchase a hula hoop, but the ones i found on amazon were so expensive! $40 for a 5lb hoop. i did love this woman’s review though “When I first started out on the 3-pound version, it was uncomfortable. It felt like the ripples on the inside edge were all bruising me, but they left no marks. Now I can do the 5-pounder with no discomfort. Call me crazy, but it seems like the fat got tired of being beat up and went somewhere else!”.

it has been a tough couple of months, but i am coming back here to continue to move forward in my weight loss goals.

i lost my job eight months ago and since then have been actively struggling to take care of my financial responsibilities so the time i had to keep up with sites like this was limited. eventually i just stopped using them. i didn’t let that deter me from taking care of myself an eating healthy, though these past few weeks have been a little sinful. i spent three weeks out of the state visiting friends and ate more fast food than i have in the totality of my short life. still, i managed to lose 4 pounds by eating small portions and walking as much as i could. in total, i have lost 45 pounds since april. most of that weight i lost in the past 4 months due to an improved diet alone. i haven’t been exercising as much as i should, but i hope to get back to my daily one hour routine very soon.

i looked at the first set of photos i took of myself and realized how much the weight loss is showing. i didn’t think it was that drastic, even if 45 is a big number but i really see the difference in my gut~! it really serves as motivation. next week i will take a new photo showcasing my progress and i hope to lose all the weight i have left (30-ish pounds) by next summer.

i also updated my prevention weight loss sim avatar (you can make the same here: http://www.prevention.com/mvm/main.html )

I read an article 2 days ago on how to exercise my arms. I saw the routines I had to do everyday to get them down. I need to figure out how to work my arms because I don’t think anything I do helps them. The pilates and yoga routines I do seem to focus a lot on the abdominal area and the legs. I need to buy some weights. What kind do you guys use? I’ve seen the kinds which you strap on, the small little shiny free weights and the regular small dumbells you can adjust. What weight should I get? I am SO WEAK in the arms. I’m afraid that a small number of pounds may not sound like a lot to me now, but when I get the weights I won’t be able to use them because they’ll be too heavy. I want to start using weights in my routines regularly.

This arm thing is a HUGE problem area for me as many women. Even at my thinnest, I hated my arms. They always seemed thick to me. I would sometimes see friends thicker than I with thin arms and I’d say to myself “How does that work??”. I guess it’s genetics. I have flabby arms, but my stomach is a lot flatter than most girls my size so that makes up for it.

So it has been some time since I’ve updated my blog. This last week was so hectic. I had crazy deadlines stressing me a little, so any free time I had was dedicated for work. I wish I had time to paint, butttt these are bad times. Can’t spend too much creative energy on things outside my obligations. I’m an illustrator so every ounce of creative juice in me goes towards work. I have a 24×36″ canvas lying right next to me begging for me to do something to it, BUT NO I CANNOT DO THAT. Willpower!

This crazy work time means I haven’t been exercising AT ALL. Awful. I am getting back on track in a couple of days, I’m not worried. My diet is alright, it’s just the exercise. Last week I weighed myself and I was down two pounds without doing anything other than sticking to the diet. I was shocked really. I do move around more though. I walk around the house more often, conscious of the fact that I need to move and do something. I also park further away when i go to the store which gets some walking in. I do 60 sit ups as well, which I started doing lately. It’s a lot less painful as the days pass by. Some days I feel like someone launched a cannon ball onto my stomach, other days it just feels like someone threw wet pebbles at me which isn’t as bad, really.

I know should make at least 15 minutes for exercise but I literally look at the clock in the morning to see it read “8:00am” then I glance at the screen of my laptop (for what feels like a minute) and look back at the clock which now reads “12am” which is bedtime for me. No, my clock isn’t broken. That’s how much I (kind of) work. Working from home isn’t as easy as people may think it is. The internet is a tease drawing you in with colorful banners, free memberships to sites you won’t use, new wikipedia entries on things you see on the Discovery Channel anyway and weekly shoe sales for shoes you’ll probably never wear. Such a tricky little seductress.

Running is something that seems so common and normal that most people don’t think about the shape you have to be in to do it.  It’s hard for me to do 5 mins of running and not fall to the ground and start flapping around like a fish out of water.  I’d like to start running, really running, but I wonder if I have to lose more weight to do so.  How do you know when you’re ready?  I’ve always been chubs, overweight - most of my life but back in the day I used to jog or walk for 40 mins and not break a sweat.  I didn’t own a car because my work was 20 mins away and I liked walking everywhere.  It helped keep me active.  Even when I was at my thinnest - no flab on my stomach, the scale told me I was overweight (160).  So anyway, I can’t run and I’d like to build some endurance.  I tried jogging, it was okay but it’s hard to do on the treadmill.  Maybe I should just stick to walking.  Really fast walking…

So, first off - I am down 5 lbs this week.  That’s 5 days, hell yea!   I try and stay away from the scale because my weight shifts everyday and that 1lb difference sucks, but it’s so hard not to weight myself every 3 days.  I should be checking in once a week, but I am just too anxious to see those little numbers drop.

Yesterday I had one of my favorite foods.  A turkey burger on a wheat bun, about White Castle sized.  It was a nice treat, and a nice shift from all the veggies I’ve been eating.  I enjoyed every bite - TRUST ME.  Aside from that, I’ve been doing pretty much the same of everything.  Lately, I have been doing 40 mins of Hatha Yoga everyday to sort of break into Yoga overall and get into the hardcore stuff in a couple of weeks.  It has been nice and it’s a really great way of stretching before I get into walking and doing everything else I do in the day.  I can see myself doing Yoga for a long time, which is why I chose it.  It seems like something that exists with so many variations that I can make time for it no matter how busy I get.

I’ve also been jumping rope which I haven’t done since I was about 10 or 11!  I love it, jumping rope used to be one of my favorite activities.  Now, my breath goes out a lot faster but I am getting there - trying to do 10 minutes everyday.  By the time I count to 150 I am almost completely out of breath, but that’s what happens when you stop doing something for 16 years!  haha

Last time I did this exercise routine thing I was exercising 3-4 times a week by doing a single 15 minute routine with some light walking 2-3 times a week.  Now, I want to pump it up and really challenge myself.  Since I am working from home, I can schedule my exercise in the morning and have time to work, cook and do everything else I need to do the rest of the day.  It’s really been great.  My sleeping schedule hasn’t been this good in years.  I’ve always suffered from light insomnia, getting to bed as late as 8am - and now I am in bed by 11 (the latest, by this time I am passing out).  This time around, everything has just been so much easier for me and I also decided that I will incorporate things I like into my diet.  Giving up foods I like cold turkey just made me feel weak when I saw a slice of bread I favored over a stick of celery.  Maintaining this balance and eating healthy as a lifestyle change is much easier when I can have a little whole wheat pasta once a week with low sodium salsa and still know I am eating healthy, not feeling that overbearing GUILT.

I look forward to seeing this through to the end and making this permanent change in my life.  Ok, yikes, I am late starting my routine!  Noon already!

I stopped logging into my account here and left my whole healthier lifestyle behind for a moment.  I went through an extremely difficult break up, experienced some mild health problems, saw my father go through some serious health problems as well and fell right off the horse.  I ate and didn’t think of counting calories or replacing things I could do without.  I drowned myself in work and didn’t exercise at all (aside from some very light walking).  I haven’t weighed myself yet, but I’m sure I went backwards in my progress which upsets me a little, but there’s no point in fretting over that now.

I feel that right now that I am mentally ready to go back to fixing my life food-wise and rededicate myself to this change.  There wasn’t a single time where I didn’t say to myself that I should go back to my exercises and healthy diet. I suppose it was just easier to quit and drown myself in the agony over the whole break up and forget about taking care of myself.  I am looking forward to continuing my exercises and seeing how I manage to make time for everything now that my career has had me busier than ever. I do look forward to feeling better and losing this extra weight I’ve been fighting with for so long!  We all fall off sometimes, I think the important thing is just getting back up and trying again.

I had a short question for anyone reafing this.  I have seen a lot of recipes around here and some of them sound quite good.  For a while, I did the South beach Diet and the recipes there were magnificent.  Along with daily exercise I lost 17 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks!!

These recipes did, after a while, burn a hole in my pocket though.  I found myself spending about $70-$100 a week for 3 weeks straight (that first week with the new grocery list was crazy!).  Being a struggling artist & designer has its sacrifices and money for food is one of them.  I’d like to know if anyone can recommend some recipe sites with cheap cheap ingredients.  This means no gourmet stuff or anything I’d need to visit an organic market for.  All we have here is a Wal Mart and a Publix (chain of regular super markets).  I’d like to try a  lot of vegetarian dishes since I am going to start preparing food for my father who suffers from high blood pressure.  If anyone can direct me to some great links with nutrition information or paste some nice recipes here that would be really appreciated!  Luckily, I do love the bland taste of anything baked including most vegetables.  I am not an onion lover but I can eat them if I have to!  Anything you guys can recommend would be awesome.

One of the most difficult things for me to get used to with this lifestyle change I am making is upping my water intake.  I drink so much water that sometimes I just feel BLOATED.  Maybe my new intake is normal for most people, but I have never been a big water drinker.  I don’t drink any sort of carbonated beverages either, I just have never been much of a drink person at all.  I would drink enough liquids in the day so I would not feel thirsty, which is still below the recommended amount.  I really hate getting up in the middle of a great night’s rest to use the bathroom too.  That really pisses me off haha so I try and drink all my liquids before 8PM.

So my question is - how do you guys get all that water in a day?  Do you use flavor packets like Crystal Light in your water?

Woo I just got off the NordicTrack and it’s funny how when you walk on the treadmill for more than 15 mins, you get off and feel trippy. Like the ground beneath you should be moving haha. Anyway, according to the machine I walked for 30 mins on fluctuating angles/slopes and lost 230.4 calories. I was struggling at the 20 minute mark, but I pushed it. I usually get off after 20 mins and don’t finish the 30 minute routine because by 20 I am exhausted. I want to get up to one straight hour of the aerobic routine on the machine by mid July. Slowly, I will be adding to my time. That doesn’t sound like much time or exercise and it wouldn’t be if the machine stayed on the flat setting and didn’t move up and down. I do like the slopes, though. They make me feel like I’m walking up hills and that’s more challenging than being comfortable and moving slowly. I hope to be running on the machine by August. Today I did some light jogging for about 5 minutes during my walking to warm myself up over time. I did my pilates routine today too, which was great.

This last 4 days I lost 5 pounds and I am happy with my progress. I wanted to wait a week but it is easier for me to make my weigh in date Sarurday. Easier to remember since I am free today. I plan to keep up my routine for at least 6/7 days of the week. If I get too too busy, then I might have to cut down to 5 but I will try to make time at least for 20 mins of pilates. I haven’t been on much of a diet because I haven’t gotten off my butt to do some grocery shopping this week. If I ate healthy I’m sure I’d be feeling better faster. I need to get new vitamins too, I can’t believe I didn’t check the expiration date on the ones I purchased. They expire in OCTOBER 2008! That’s less than 4 months from now. Talk about a rip off.

Now I need a shower, I feel sticky - ew.

The day is not over yet but I am afraid I won’t have time to write later since I really have to crack down on work and get some things done.  Today I was able to get only 20 mins of pilates and 10 mins of walking in before I went running to the bathroom to vomit.  I guess something didn’t sit well with my stomach.  I won’t be doing anymore exercise for today, I’m afraid it might happen again.  Here is hoping I feel better tomorrow.

I tried to cut my food intake in half today.  Start off slow and move to the diet foods slowly as well.  I didn’t get to exercise because I woke up very late and had to spend the day cleaning.  Right now I am a little hungry, so I will be eating a plum and going to bed.

Food Log